Ha

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes Leaves completely...

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrin ks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of Stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too Fast. Are they kidding?..

That's my idea of a Perfect Day!!

Cat sick

Tues pm


"Mum the cat's been sick how do I clean it up, I've never cleaned up cat sick ?" says 'It's all about me'!


"Well firstly you throw the cat out before she does anymore! Then you take some tissue scoop it up and then get out the carpet cleaner."

To younger brother (affectionately known has mouth boy- see Fierce Creatures) "Chris get some tissue, bag, etc.....................

Welcome to the real world!

"Mum can you sew the badges on my scout shirt" says 'It's all about me'

"Why have you lost the use of your arms!"

She's looking at me as though I have just dropped off the bottom of her shoe. Note to self count to 10, breathe slowly!

"No I can't do it"

"No such thing as can't do it"

"Mum will you thread the needle"

"Okay give it here"

So I start her off with the sewing


Wed am


List of things to do:-

1 Sew on scout badges!
2 Enquire about anger management courses

teenagers

13 year old daughter, 'its all about me' do they know the world does't revolve around them! The threat of the school nurse did the trick! Despite feeling sick she is still managing to empty the fridge and cupboards of anything vaguely edible! What happenend to that sweet girl? Someone stole her away one night and replaced her with a sullen, surly teenager! The joys of motherhood, throw hormones and a younger brother into the equation and home is a constant battleground oh joy of joy!

snowdrops

Post-op

You couldn't pick a better time to be off work sick! 13 days post laparoscopic hysterectomy, glorious sunshine, kids at school husband at work. Daughter rang from school to say she felt sick would I pick her up, said wait an hour if you still feel sick go see nurse! School nurse very scary that should sort her out (more scary than mum who is nurse!)
Leg pain very bad today and feeling sorry for myself, no reason to - plenty of other people worse off than me, but occasionally we can allow ourselves the indulgence!